goldenboy

Garbage piles up in Mira Road as the nearby residents of Uttan decide not to allow their space to be used as Garbage dump anymore.

At night or during the day you see smoke bellowing out from the accumulated garbage at the roadside as residents of this place burn their own Garbage, the only option now available to them.

Among the smoke that bellows out is the smoke from the melting substance of plastic bags. Recently the Mira-Bhayandar Municipal Corporation decided to impose a ban on the use of polythene bags in the market place. But bribery in the Government mechanism and old-solidified habits make a mockery of the ban order, and the bags are flamboyantly exchanged over the counter with neither the customer nor the shopkeepers giving a damn to the essence behind the ban on plastic bags. Isn’t it time now that the Government and Municipal authorities use their strict-side? For that they will have to do some cleansing within the system itself.

-x-x-x-

Ironically; even as there seems to be no takers for the garbage of Mira Road, I had to do some serious cleaning up on the home-front. Even as I decided to move out of our rental accommodation, instead of bowing down to the unfair diktats of the Estate-Agents lobby here, I was faced with the daunting task of shifting loads of things from my old house to the new one.

I took a couple of days’ leave from work and sat down to throw every inch of unused cloth, every shred of unused paper and every memento which roused dead or sad feelings for the past!

I finally did away with half my luggage. Giving up unused computers and electronics to friends helped.

Finally I feel lighter. It is a feeling of freedom from the past, from things that weighed on my heart and mind! And with it comes a determination not to accumulate, or hoard!

Likewise, there was a lot of cleaning involved. I had to clean every cobweb, every stain and dirt from the old house before I handed out the keys to the Estate Agent. And when I moved into the new PG accommodation, it was the same- cleaning and washing.

Reminds me of my days in the Ashram at Bihar School of Yoga, where physical labour such as these form an integral part of the daily routine. It felt like I was in the proximity of my Guru.

-x-x-x-

Dialogue Sessions at my Community group to start again. Much personal lessons have been learnt in the past many months (almost more than a year). Hope this will be another step in personal growth and enrichment (through listening to others and sharing) and thus another milestone in inner enrichment.

Lots of Love to everyone

Having a Goal to achieve, anchors one’s life, gives direction and meaning by touching everything you have to do with a distinct flavour you cannot fail to relish.

It strengthens one belief in the process of life itself, sending clear directions to the Universe on how to conjure up the best possible scenarios in your life for you to achieve your goal. It puts one’s life to ease, and one is more ready to accept the ups and downs of life with one’s gaze fixed firmly on one’s goal.

My life is, for perhaps the first time in life, guided by such a guiding star - my goal. It makes me work hard, be dedicated and enjoy life in all its colours.

Last week was busy with all the packing up one has to do when one’s rental contract-deed has ended and one has to shift to another home-base. For me it came as a blessing in disguise. Since I earn a little now, as I have to work part-time to be able to attend my yoga classes in the evening, I was left with no option but to leave my mom at my elder brother’s place and myself move into a Paying guest accommodation where I share an apartment with two other guys for much lesser rent.

But I am content. And my Goal keeps me going. Today, being Sunday, I realize how tired am I, with every inch of flesh in my body aching. And the rest, on the day of the Sabbath, means sweet ache for the love of life.

Zindagi Zindagi Kya Tera Roop Hai - 2

Tu Kabhi Chaanv Hain Aur Kabhi Dhoop Hain

Zindagi Zindagi Kya Tera Roop Hai - 2

Tu Kabhi Chaanv Hain Aur Kabhi Dhoop Hain

Zindagi Zindagi
(Kabhi Lagti Hain Tu Meri Saheli

Kabhi Lagti Hain Tu Mujhko Paheli) - 2

Kabhi Lagti Hain Bheed Mein Gungunati

Kabhi Lagti Hain Gum Sum Akeli

Zindagi Zindagi Kya Tera Roop Hai - 2

Tu Kabhi Chaanv Hain Aur Kabhi Dhoop Hain

Zindagi Zindagi

HEY YOU
Hey you,
Out there in the cold,
Getting lonely, getting old,
Can you feel me?
Hey you,
Standing in the aisle,
With itchy feet and fading smile,
Can you feel me?
Hey you,
Don’t help them to bury the light.
Don’t give in without a fight.

Hey you,
Out there on your own,
Sitting naked by the phone,
Would you touch me?
Hey you,
With your ear against the wall,
Waiting for someone to call out,
Would you touch me?
Hey you,
Would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I’m coming home.

But it was only fantasy.
The wall was too high, as you can see.
No matter how he tried he could not break free.
And the worms ate into his brain.

Hey you,
Out there on the road,
Always doing what you’re told,
Can you help me?
Hey you,
Out there beyond the wall,
Breaking bottles in the hall,
Can you help me?
Hey you,
Don’t tell me there’s no hope at all.
Together we stand, divided we fall.

-x-x-x-

An ex-flame calls up, says he wants to meet up. ‘It would be exciting to catch up with him again,” I decide. Though when I wait for him at the gate of a retail outlet, I break into a cold sweat. Memories from a couple of years ago, of half a dozen people (perhaps more) thrashing me in the middle of a ill-lighted street in the early hours of the night, haunt me. My heart pounds heavily, and my breathing pattern changes. I can smell fear. The body reacts subconsciously even when I want to be brave.

Having to move out into the city, away from family, to live on my own again in a couple of days, brings back disturbed sleep full of nightmares. Even as the day sees me confident, some part of my brain yells when I am asleep!

I repeat my ‘positive affirmations’ religiously every dawn, to program my subconscious, to lull it away from fear into freedom.

And even as the Past roars with all it’s might to scare me, I take one step forward every time towards a future as I dream it should be. Dreams pull me forward these days. The dull acceptance of things as they are is a thing of the past.

Today I faced my fear, stood my ground despite all the alertness of the body and the pounding of my heart. I met the guy who confessed love to me yet again. But I told him that I am free now. I told him I cannot be held back anymore.

(Lyrics courtesy: Pink Floyd)

The Silent Majority has spoken. And it is one tight rap in the face of the Shiv Sena… a slap, it should always remember.

In the name of Democracy, in the name of Secularism, and in the name of the new generation of Indians who don’t believe in your Ideals Mr.Thackeray!

Let this slap be remembered.

abhi abhi - hua yaqeen
ki aag hai - mujh mein kahi
hui subaah - main chal gaya
suraj ko main - nigal gaya
ruu-ba-ruu roshni heyy - 2

(It’s now, that I believe. That there is a fire, within me somewhere. It’s a new dawn, and I have left… in the Sunlight… I am face to face with Light)

jo gumshuda-sa khwaab tha
voh mil gaya - voh khil gaya
woh loha tha pighal gaya
kichhaa kichhaa machal gaya
sitaar mein badal gaya
ruu-ba-ruu roshni heyy - 2

The dream that was lost, it has been found and it is full of colours! That was iron which has melted… Hopeless which had been, has been excited… has turned into a musical string -instrument.. I am face to face with Light)

(dhuaan chhataa khula gagan mera
nayi dagar naya safar mera
jo ban sake tu hamsafar mera
nazar mila zara) - 2

The smoke has cleared, my skies have opened up… New Goals, new Journeys are mine… If you can be my companion on this journey, meet my eyes…!

I am face to face with Light!!
(Lyrics courtesy: Rang de Basanti)
—————————————————————–

Background: After Shah Rukh Khan (who owns the Kolkata Knight Riders Cricket team) criticized the fact that members of the Pakistani Cricket Team were not bought by the clubs competing in the 2010 Indian Premier League (IPL), and said that he would like to involve a Pakistani player in his team, he was condemned by Shiv Sena (a Hindu nationalist political party).

The Sena newspaper mouthpiece Saamna carried derogatory remarks about this Indian actor, calling him a traitor while the party followers came out on the streets in violent protests with slogans like “Shahrukh khan go to Pakistan.”

They tried to stop the release of the movie even as the Congress Chief Minister of Maharashtra promised tight security for the film-goers and theatres.

Despite all the protests and goons on the streets of Mumbai and other places, Indians streamed theatre houses in large numbers. People stood against the terror of the Shiv Sena. The movie opened to full cinema houses in a number of places across India.

God Bless India
Best Wishes on Eve of Indian Republic Day 2010

God Bless India
Best Wishes and Prayers on Eve of Indian Republic Day 2010

Life is Dreamz set in motion…
-Golden Boy

GB wishes you all a Happy, Amorous, Prosperous, Healthy, Safe, Peaceful, & Delightful New Year 2010.

The tragedy of life was that I sought to surrender my Ego and the Process started to gnaw on my inbuilt Survival Instinct.

I am not dying. I was born to live! I had stopped dreaming; had lost my way “into the dreary desert sand of dead habit” - (in the words of Tagore)

There is something about Dreamz! If one loses touch with them, life dries up. Without goals, there is nothing to get up from bed every morning to!

To be able to enjoy a good meal it is first essential to get ‘good and hungry’. And once one achieves, one needs to move on to the next goal. Or withering sets in, life stagnates.

Dreams keep us alive, and give us the sunshine to reach up to!

Winter has finally arrived in the country. This year the wait for winter was longer than usual (blame Climate change!)

7 vehicles collided against each other due to poor visibility somewhere in Northern India.

And even as the fog becomes thicker everywhere else, it’s only now that the fog is wearing away from my life. The dull white barren snow is finally seeing some sunlight penetrating in. And as the ice melts, the landscape is in turmoil yet again. Herald the change of seasons!

And it is all upto me now how to deal with this yet another change in my emotional-mental make up.

After jumping head-on into Yoga, and searching for a resonance to the whispers of my heart in the Yoga-Philosophy for a year, I stand at the brink of yet another failed experiment. I could not proceed beyond the 4th limb of Ashtanga Yoga into Pratyahara (withdrawal of Senses) that deals with the renunciation of the Material world.

And I find myself having to face the ruins of a 12-year old long fight with Depression. My boss at my new workplace has been a catalyst in removing the dirt from my lenses so that I can see now for myself how I lust for success, fame and money deep within!

I am no Yogi. I am no Fakir. I am just another worldly man with the usual storms of desires and earthly needs that beseech the human heart. To turn my face away from these would mean taking away my sight from the person that I truly am. I am as human as anyone else; and now know for sure that in humanity and not in godliness lies my redemption.

Today GB stands amongst the ravages of his life, trying to salvage what truly belongs to him: a faith in a Higher Reality, a re-enforced faith in the truth of the deepest urges and needs of his body, a greater connection with earth; and a very ordinary yet earnest desire to earn money, fame & recognition. Denying these would be fallacy, chasing any other philosophy other than this – a mortal sin!