Dreams. At times they seem closer to Reality than Reality itself.
Today morning. As I was walking back home from the cyber café. I looked at the multitude of people in the bazaar, and as I walked amongst them I told myself, “a collective reality!” Most of my fears arise at one plane lower to the crowd. It arises when each individual in the crowd stands out in the many. At the level of collective reality, it is just a crowd, and people as they look at me once in a while are doing so sans judgements, sans thoughts.
Later, I became aware of a plane of reality above collective. It was a reality that included the plane of trees too. So many of these green lives on the way, silent witness to the landscape, belonging yet out of it. As I stepped into their plane of reality, it seemed so quiet. And on a higher level there is the reality that includes the sun, the daylight, a stream that must be somewhere far away, the hills… Reality then became this vast earth and nature and individual thoughts and value judgements about you or individual unit of potent harm seemed just that- small unit in the vast perception of the bigger reality, not an exaggeration that took all the space of perception.
I intended to take a nap later, after my afternoon meal. The nap turned into sleep. And a dream set in. Here was another reality and my presence in it so real and convincing.
Past merged in the Present. I say so because people from my past were around me. Some imaginary house. My sister (she’s in almost all my dreams!), my “half-guru” from Poona who seemed to be the servant, of a wealthy house where I was put up (in Juhu), and sometimes my father.
A big van, driven by a shiv-sainik style guy (my brother?) and his girl-friend (they didn’t like us, we could feel that.) A temple with 14 (?) caves. I wondered as I bowed down at the second cave… “Stones being worshipped !” Was I bowing down to the holy vision of some person who converted this stone into God Himself. Somehow it felt I didn’t belong there, yet some emotion in me seemed to term it as “holy”, and I bowed down, even bought things outside.
There is no Rule of Law in dreams! I was manhandled to be killed. The old guy was left behind (I didn’t like this). Threat loomed large. And the only basic thing that mattered was the survival instinct, as events unfolded.
I wake up, still trying to gauge what my dream had to convey. Then the mind again gets into its thinking (and I realize later that it has chosen ‘varied realities’ as the subject). I remember the nuns at the Christian fair in Bandra. The nuns in black dresses, stood at different corners of the street near the church, collecting donations. They seemed so much of a different clime then. Behind their smile seemed to lurk a secret they knew, perhaps something that their faith told them to be true (after-life?) and they couldn’t help smiling! ‘A promised place in heaven for myself’ they seemed to proclaim to everyone standing in the collective reality, anchored on a different plane of reality altogether.
Perhaps we all live in different dreams.
Ideas do not transform people. What brings about transformation is freedom from ideas. – J. Krishnamurti
Perhaps ‘Sacredness’ is also just that- an idea…