goldenboy

Okay, time to stop the cut and paste ritual for now, and speak in words that are as true as I am alive.

Time for some simple, old-fashioned, Truth guys. Time to shed all metaphors and allegories to hoodwink you into getting acquainted with my real-life situation!

First things, first. I have not been going to work for over one and a half month now.

I have changed my Shrink, as farther from each other as it can get for now, from a psychologist in Andheri to one in Thane city. That means a complete change-over of my prescribed drugs. And voila! I feel I have woken from some conscious slumber into metaphysical reality. And it is yet so awesome that I am yet to decide whether reality bites or rocks!! For now, I am awake.

Third, for now, after the pilgrimage to Kerala and visits to all those divine Abodes (temples, stupid!)I feel so blessed- my forefathers in 64 generations wouldn’t have felt so blessed!!

Fourth, after all those trips to the smokey universes of Tantra and Veda, bhakti and Guru; now I am hitched to a completely new Universe. The universe where everything works (or should be made to work) according to one’s Will. The secret world of Wicca, witchcraft in plain-simple English.

And after dabbling in there for a couple of months, I have a changed attitude toward all the rituals and Gods of Hinduism. Its like a re-acquaintance with my own religion. A homecoming after some bloody law-school from the West, a westernization that has caused me to revel in the magic of my own home-religion.

Magick exists in the rituals that permeate the Hindu society today. Those who are ignorant of the subtle whisps of power that manifests in these rituals- whether they be simple plain everyday worship or the death-rituals, are like disinherited children of a Treasure house.

The more I read and understand Magick, the more I understand this world as it is (Chaos as of now). The more I get to know about the psychology which makes magick possible in everyday life, the more I feel I can etch out a destiny for myself, rather than be a creature of plain existence- breakfast and work and sex and bed.

Look at Catholic rituals, the Novena Mass at Mahim Church. What is happening there? Is there a Virgin Mother holding a divine child in her arms that are a catalyst to all those cures and favors granted? Or is it the combined Intention (one of the essential ingredients of magick as well as prayer) and faith of the crowd assembled in Worship (rituals)

And is there a need to find meaning to our lives, when we can hardly see the Lord/Goddess… or have no clue as to where we have come from and where we are going or what all of us are doing here?

There is only one thing accessible to human life (as I see it now). Desires. The energy that pulsates to life with craving passion in the bossom of our own hearts. That is the only true thing which seems to be the pointer, when it comes to purpose of life on Earth.

And how do you realise these desires, for they say “if wishes were horses……” Want to shout back to them, I am no beggar. And I will ride those horses. For this human body and mind/psyche is a great tool with which I am born, a great treasure. And if desires blossom in the heart of this divine body, there is just one truth- seeking the means to fulfilling them.

But what if those desires are so big… that they seem impossible?

We read about Alchemists, fairies, angels, even powers of our subconscious minds. And some part of us wants to believe in them (or perhaps know it is true).

And apart from the desire and our body, the next thing which can lead us to the fulfilment of our desires is Intention. The intention and the belief to bring forth into the world what we desire. So what is the harm in believing in our dream and having faith in our powers to realise them. Isn’t that what is Determination in a dry sense. Intention waits to flower, as sure as the sun that will dawn after it sets. Determination walks a dull road called reality where there are just obstacles and limitations to be overcome. While Intention flies on the wings of Faith. A faith burning with desire, which translates to Enthusiasm. Which translates to hope, nay, conviction. Which rides on an alternate consciousness and by-passes all the limitations handed over to our psyche by conditioning and soceity. A faith set afire, an enthusiasm which participates in the ritual with conviction, and a closing of the circle that brings certainty, peace and joy.

A faith (wiccan) that looks at each tree and stone as a living source of spirit, alive and charged. A view of the world where one just needs to ask and it is granted (as the bible promises). A world where one’s reservoir of energy and faith is all that counts to bring to pass what one transpires.

And so mote it be. Merry be, till we meet again.

-x-

Neither Being nor Non-being
neither air nor earth nor space:
what was enclosed? where?
under whose protection?
What was water, deep, unfathomable?
Neither death nor immortality, day nor night–
but ONE breathed by itself with no wind.
Nothing else. Darkness swathed in darkness,
unmanifest water.
The ONE, hidden by void,
felt the generation of heat, came into being
as Desire, first seed of Mind…
Was there an up or down?
There were casters of seed, there were powers:
energy underneath, impulse above.
But who knows for sure?
– Rig Veda