goldenboy

On days when there is hardly a drop of water in the tap here in Mira rd; and water-suppliers have booking-lists full, guys like me wake up to a weekend with no shower. They spend half the day in long-walks and long telephone calls to the water-suppliers in the locality to fetch a tank-ful of water at home. Welcome to the real India.

And yesterday, even though I succeeded in pleading a water-supplier into selling water to my family at double the price, the water was muddy enough to be used only to flush. So went without showers yesterday.

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I read Sukhmani Sahib (a holy book of the Sikhs) at late nights, after I reach my mom’s place after-work. The book tells me how only God can decide whether to lift you enough to fall in Love with Him, for Salvation.

And I wonder if I ever will fall in love with Him as enough to gain my Salvation.

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Meanwhile, at work I try to row through rough waters.

All those reality shows on TV wherein a dozen people are put together in an apartment to test the limits of their patience are ‘reality’ after all.

In a group of 16 adult people, at office, having different back-grounds, mentality and behaviour-patterns, there is never a day for me without struggle.

And what makes the famous kid at school, the rebel at college, have such a tough-time at work?

Perhaps just that. My Past.

I am still caught-up in mental attitudes (expectations, generalizations, notions, thinking patterns) from my past.

Strong emotions like fear, anger, jealousy and love wells up in the training-class everyday as new love-hate relationship patterns emerge in the class as we are forced to interact with each other.

So how should I deal with all these emotions welling up inside me?

Fantasize myself to be a Saint and suppress these emotions; wear a smile on my face?

Or let them well-up inside me and react (snap, lose my cool, hit back).

Perhaps the way seems to be mid-way. Let them well up within, feel and look at them and not react. Know them to be the Volcanoes that erupt as the earth flexes its muscles to adjust to newer climates; knowing that the seething lava would also bring with it fertile soil in time.

That I think is the mark of a tough guy, and the secret-formula for all the winners of those reality-shows on TV.