(Robbie Williams feat. Nicole Kidman)
I know I stand in line
Until you think you have the time
To spend an evening with me
And if we go someplace to dance
I know that there’s a chance
You won’t be leaving with me
Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place
And have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you
I can see it in your eyes
You still despise the same old lines
You heard the night before
And though it’s just a line to you
For me it’s true
And never seemed so right before
I practice every day to find some clever
lines to say
To make the meaning come true
But then I think I’ll wait until the evening
gets late
And I’m alone with you
The time is right
Your perfume fills my head
The stars get red
And oh the night’s so blue
And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you
I love you…
(I have strayed away once again. Lost in the wilderness, chaos rules.
Inspiration is bleak, almost non-existent.
Suddenly I have not been able to be still.
And I feel lost.
Fear and Suspicion have taken roots, as insecurity and loss of faith claws deep into my soul.
I have lost my soul connection.
Desperate and hungry for light. A fallen angel, waiting for the holy communion.. the bread of life.
Lust, fear and insecurities take me hostage on a desert far away… so away from everyone, now no one can hear my voice..
Dead inside, dry and withered..)
Hello Everyone,
To find out that I was not actually in love, but had fallen back into
the trap of an old pattern, wherein I was looking to fill my inner
emptiness with something grandiose on the outside - a mysterious
lover, an unreal fantasy with an unknown ending!
And all the possessiveness that went in with this clinging to one
human being in the real world. It takes tonnes of energy to deal with
the stress of an unreal relationship - a relationship you want to
build which actually is not the course of life your soul’s journey is
on..
The result is finally I find myself marooned far away in a desert,
having strayed away from my soul - connection.
I fell finally to my inner fears, insecurity and impatience.
It was like there was too much of darkness on the path, and I needed
the glitter of unreal emotions to light up the path. I invented the
unreal within my mind, mistook possessiveness as “love” in the process
of masking fear of emptiness with the satin of false romance.
There was a feeling of shock at the other end, at my expression of
sudden love (like in the song, “then I go and spoil it all by saying
something stupid as I love you”), and finally complete withdrawl from
me, making me feel like a zombie.
Now I do know that the idea of cinematic romance is different from the
“romance of life” (As Uma quoted)
Only that I feel lost, in chaos, being astray, feeling strongly the
severed connection from my inner self. But then I think, atleast this
is real - this feeling of unconnectedness, much less harmful than some
misconceived feeling of “having arrived”, “enlightened” etc.
Atleast I know that I don’t know.
Much Love
Suresh
