goldenboy

The Indian TV media has been rather quiet about the ground realities in Kashmir. People chanting freedom slogans have been turning out in huge numbers, protesting by downing shutters and calling for a shutdown.

Perhaps it is high time this country listens to the ground realities, and takes a radical stand in face of reality.

We have to understand that Kashmir is different from Punjab.

And suppressing people’s voices there would only lead to escalation of tensions in the valley.

We need to go away from the past policies, and take into account the sentiments of the people.

Or else, this Patriotism that we swear by, suppressing any talk of a free Kashmir, would be just another expression of our fears and hatred.

Let’s allow the UN plebiscite in the Valley and allow its people to decide their own fate.

Or else, history will later speak of us as just another tyrants who suppressed people with the power of arms.

Let’s give Kashmir a chance to speak for itself. Lets hold a UN plebiscite there.

goldenboy
Mumbai, India

Hi Guyz,

Lots of Love to everyone of you for your support.

I am so smitten by love
I am now intoxicated by it

Helpless and Uncontrollable, I wander
I have lost my heart (to him)

Your name can breathe life in me
I shall die with your name on my lips
I promise on your life, I can make ultimate sacrifice (in love)

What black magic you did on me, you have me in your control
I have lost my life, my identity
oh yes, I have gone
Crazy in love with you…

When the craze of love passes its limits
Lovers embrace death with a smile on their lips

Howmuchever you keep the lover imprisoned
God opens the gates for him

this is the will of love
this is will of the Lord

what is life without you
This is my condition now

Teri Deewani - by Kailash Kher (The original song translated above)
preet ki lath mohe aaisi laagi
ho gayi main matwaali
bal bal jaaun apane piya ko
ke main jaaun vaari vaari
mohe sudh budh naa rahe tan mann ki
yeh toh jaane duniya saari
bebas aur laachar phiru main
haari main dil haari

tere naam se jee loon
tere naam se marr jaaun
tere naam se jee loon
tere naam se marr jaaun
teri jaan ke sadke mein kuchh aaisa kar jaaun
tune kya kar dala marr gayi main mitt gayi main
ho ri ha ha ri ho gayi main
teri deewani deewani
teri deewani deewani
tune kya kar dala marr gayi main mitt gayi main
ho ri ha ha ri ho gayi main
teri deewani deewani
teri deewani deewani

ishq junoon jab hadh se badh jaaye - 2
hanste hanste aashiq suli chadh jaaye
ishq ka jaadu sar chadhkar bole
khoob laga lo pehre raste rab khole
yahi ishq ki marzi hain
yahi rab ki marzi hain
yahi ishq ki marzi hain
yahi rab ki marzi hain
tere bin jeena kaisa
???
tune kya kar dala marr gayi main mitt gayi main
ho ri ha ha ri ho gayi main
teri deewani deewani
teri deewani deewani

ke main rang rangili deewani - 2
ke main albeli main mastani
gaaun bajaaun sabko rijhaaun
he ??? se begaani
ke main deewani main deewani
tere naam se jee loon tere naam se marr jaaun
tere jaan ke sadle mein kuchh aaisa kar jaaun
tune kya kar dala marr gayi main mitt gayi main
ho ri ha ha ri ho gayi main
teri deewani deewani
teri deewani deewani
teri deewani deewani
teri deewani deewani…

Recently I was sent an invite to participate in a Gay Parade being
organized by Gay and Lesbian Organizations for the gay community to
come together to express their demand for freedom from Victorian Laws
like IPC 377 in the Indian Judiciary that are anti-gay in nature.

Impulsively & wholeheartedly I wanted to participate right away.

-x-x-x-

However there is a problem.

I have been bewildered by the attachment that has developed between my
students and me. They express their affection for me openly, and I
feel a strong tenderness within my heart for them.

There are times when the friendliness that I encourage in the quality
of relationship between us, helps them to approach me with things that
troubles them.

It could be a simple ego problem with a friend, it could be something
that has been weighing on their mind, or just a simple friendly elder
person that they seek to connect with.

There are times when I go out of my way to shower my care. And I feel
quite paternal about it, kind of a Catholic priest taking care of his
students in a convent.

-x-x-x-

I spent a few nights sleeping in anticipation of the grand event, my
first participation in an open Gay parade, a grand Expression of what
I am, as I see it, a kind of coming out to tell Society that this is
what I am and believe in and damn whether they like it or not.

It is a kind of coming to terms with my own self, throwing away the
dual hypocrite mask, walking shoulder to shoulder with people who lead
lives similar to mine, gay and unmarried, all coming together to
participate in an event meant for each one of us to come out together
finally and say – I AM WHAT I AM, AND I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT IT.

 However as the initial euphoria passed away, the realization that I
would be in an open parade wherein there could be a lot of media
cameras around, seemed to put me in a dilemma.

Would my students be able to accept me as I am if they were to spot me
in the parade? Would they ever be able to trust a friendly touch from
me? Would they consider me an outsider, an outcaste? Would I lose
their affection?

However on the other hand, if I don’t participate in the parade, I
would be suppressing something within me – a kind of expression that
seems totally to be so relevant to being true to myself, even an
obligation on my part to a cause that will only lead to more
acceptance of gay people in the society!

The organizers have emphasized that there would be feather masks etc.
to disguise ourselves however, if I would be there I would be there to
unmask myself, to tell the world that this is how I am and I am not a
bit ashamed.

And the consequences, if any?

And now I understand that this is the responsibility that comes with
the opportunity given to each one of us i.e. to make one’s own choices
in life- whether to live for a cause or sacrifice what one is for the
love of ones who won’t understand you.

Either way, I can lose.

Either way, I win.

The monsoon lurks as an unnoticed guest; the rains fall on a gray & dull landscape.

Like some old-fashioned wizard/ shaman, I follow the patterns of the moon as I ferry back home from work.

The ancient Aryans believed that the mind was a part of the moon, with its rising tides of uneven moods…

That is the only connection I share with the heart these days, saying a silent prayer every time I see the moon in the high skies.

The moon travels busily in the night sky - white mirror of my heart in the dull gray monsoon clouds.

As I walked home from work one day, with my gaze high on the moon above and a silent prayer on my lips, I brushed against an old strange woman. The woman was clad in regional attire, with paan-red lips, wrinkled skin, and gray white hair. She laughed as the clouds started pouring with drops of rain washing against our faces; she gazed deep into my eyes.

Her eardrops made of gold shone in the moonlight, and I could smell the fragrance of sweet white flowers worn in her hair.

She laughed merrily, almost to deride me I felt, and then asked me with a gesture of her hand- what within my heart was so dried as a leaf, not able to blossom in such a full-moon night?

I watched her old wrinkled hand, and how her eyes sparkled with an unearthly glimmer.

And that moment, I could feel a lump of pain in my heart, I felt it sinking… I had held back the tears too long.

As the tears rolled out, mixing with rain… She laughed again and walked away into the night.

I walked back home that night with no prayers, no moon to gaze up to in the sky, just my tears and me.