goldenboy

A smile can win a heart. Just like that. Two words of courtesy and pleasantness can win over a person’s love.

I have been in
Bihar for 3 days now. I don’t find any violence on it’s streets as people back home had alerted me. People here are friendly, jolly and good at heart. There is no trace of discrimination based on caste or creed as I see it around, at least in these urban environs.

If people back home will argue that things are different in rural Bihar, then I will say that healthy open commercialization is then good for the health of each and every town and village of this country: this based on experience and not just romanticism.

It is good to eat the simple meal on the road side at Rs.10/- per plate. It is good to use the very same Indian style toilet that they use. It feels good to be a part of my own country.

-x-x-x-

I did see a couple of shops selling guns. I did see how political activity (morchas and protest-marches) warm up the veins of a common Bihari in this cold climate at this time of the year.

And the one thing I saw here; which perhaps weaves together the destiny of all Indians in the length and breadth of this country in every township, city or village; was dreams in eyes and hard work. The determination to live, to survive the next day, the faith in oneself to provide bread and butter for one’s family that keeps each one going about their daily lives: that is the one thing that binds us all together, not any caste, creed or religion anymore… It is toil and determination to live in face of all odds whether it is violence, Raj Thackeray, politicians or terrorism.

-x-x-x-

I saw the Republic Day TV Live telecast of the first Lady President of India hoisting the tricolour flag. And the very next moment was the line of awards awarded post-death to brave soldiers and policemen who laid down their lives for this country.

And for the first time, lying in that hotel room far away from my city which was under siege by terrorists a few months ago, I cried. I cried bitterly watching their widows and mothers accepting the honour. Something within me melted and gave way to tears and I wept.

The terrorists did not succeed in their attempt to destabilize India. They only succeeded in torching the light of patriotism that had long been buried in our History books post-Independence. They gave the people of this country a purpose to come together, to unite above the petty politics of regionalism and feel proud to be an Indian.

The terrorists came to attack our city with an inhuman aim. 

Our soldiers who fought them torched the love for our motherland in our hearts.

Jai Hind.

   
Readers of GoldenBoy Blog would be pleased to know that I am going away to learn Yoga.

However, I intend to keep in touch with all you sweet people, till I am back in May-June 2009

New articles will be posted under the tag from school of yoga

I have made the necessary arrangements for this; however even if you don’t hear from me, know that I am well and fine.

Thanks & Take care

Much Love

Evening Saturday 10^th January 2009 Basic India Session

Some muttering of “meaningful conversation” which I don’t exactly follow, but try to make sense of. I fail and look listlessly. Uma R tears through the delusion, by asking what Uma L is feeling and she replies that she is confused. I agree totally with her… I am lost too.

Later, as we become aware of how even conversation that appears meaningful could be a trap, a way to escape from real awareness, and we start to explore it.

-x-x-x-

I speak how I have reached a conclusion that just keeping a tab on our feelings would not suffice, if one wants to live in awareness. The process was deeper. With experience I have come to a conclusion that feelings in itself could be just a pattern, like in my case anger.

Uma L wonders what happens in families where people are not allowed to express or even feel anger.

And that gives me a clue.

As a child, I had seen only the destruction that anger causes. Mom was very much susceptible to bouts of nasty temper and that would lead to fights with father. My childhood was rid with fights where tempers flew high at the drop of a hat. I was always scared of anger as a child, and perhaps suppressed my own feelings of anger growing up in an insecure environment.

So when the moment came for me to explore relationships, at office first, and later in the group at basicIndia, the first feeling that waited beneath the surface, and to burst forth, was anger.

My anger was triggered at the slightest hint of hostility, aggression or hatred on the other side.

The anger triggered was often times disproportionately greater to the trigger.

And the moment the other person would react; it would add fuel to my anger. I was caught in a vicious cycle, living in my own insecure world. Apart from hurting the other person, it did great harm to myself, as it led to problems in interpersonal relationships in my own life.

Until recently when I could clearly see how I was caught in a pattern of anger.

I have burst in anger at BasicIndia, and as many would agree, without much of a reason.

I fought bitterly, I withdrew, I came back, but decided it was time to stick it out and find out more about myself. Here was a space where I was still welcome even after I had tried your patience.

Somehow that patience and acceptance on your part, gave my awareness enough time to look at my pattern of anger.

I have found out that I often lost my temper on people I loved the most. What was I expecting out of them, to be superhuman?

Or was I expecting myself to be superhuman, holding back all that anger all these years! I had to let go off my anger, and it had to come out. And here was a space where I was welcomed to look at my pattern.

Here I found a space where the baby was not thrown out with the bathwater as in the outside world where I would get a brick for a pebble. 

In the course of time as I looked at my behaviour, I found out that often my anger did not make sense to me either.

Knowing that there could be exactly no concrete reason to trigger my anger, in due course of time, I was able to see how anger had accumulated in my body over the years.

I saw how it had become a pattern.

And finally, I discovered that the anger was not the real me. And that non-identification with anger was a great feeling of freedom in itself.

As I found my way to freedom from strong identification with anger, I found what lay beneath to blossom. It was trust.

At last, I feel I can, (and to a successful extent at work have) let go off my anger…

In relation to 26/11 Terror attacks, in recent weeks, Pakistan has asked why it would want to raise rubble with India on its eastern front when there is enough trouble on it’s western border with Afghanistan.

For a common person like me, common sense tells me that it had every reason to do so.

For one, the way Pakistan was used by the US for its clawing in on Taliban, has certainly left a huge wound in the psyche of the common Pakistani awaam, be it the educated class or the extremist masses.

This, coupled with the crack-down on extremists on its own soil in joint-operations with the US, the crackdown on a major extremist-base mosque, the pounding of the US troops in the NWFP of Pakistan, etc. had let down the morale of the common Pakistani.

The best way to work up the spirit of the masses and to make the masses look at the government for support could have happened by creating mischief in India, a country that has been historically projected by successive governments and army rulers in Pakistan to divert attention from real national problems.

The 26/11 attack was a well-planned one. Whether the democratic government was aware then, or just the army or ISI is not the question. The question is do they know now who staged the 26/11? And the answer is a common sense- yes.

But the Pakistani establishment won’t relent.

And this is one favor Pakistan will want from the US in return for all that it has done for America in it’s war against Terror. They would now want America to be by its side if India chooses to attack, yet would like the US to close its eyes to the way it responds to the proof handed out to it by the Govt. of India regarding 26/11.

India was used. The morale of Pakistani troops who were fighting the American war in and for Afghanistan needed a boost. The only way patriotic-sentiments could have been aroused in the forces and the masses was by some war-hysteria with its neighbour India, which has been always projected as a threat and enemy.

With increasing ill-will in the minds of the extremist Moslems towards the Pakistani government in its support to the fight against terror, Pakistan needed to divert their attention from it’s role as a predator to one as the prey.

India, for one, should stop counting on the US too much to pressurize Pakistan. Also India should not expect too much from Pakistan or the International community in her own war against the Pakistani sponsorship of terror in India.

We stand alone. And we need to combat ‘the problem of Pakistan’ by cutting all ties with that country and dealing terrorism in this country with an iron fist.

The resolve that is being seen at the people level and government level at this time, to deal with terrorism should be wisely and effectively used to safeguard our people against any such future attacks be it mumbai or Calcutta, delhi or kanyakumari

I believe that Islam is a beautiful religion, only misinterpreted by a few misguided people.
In my endevour to know more about this beautiful fatih, I have been blessed to meet some very beautiful people. What more can be proof of the beauty of Islam than the culture and love in the hearts of these beautiful people?

I love Islam. Not the one preached by the Extremists and the Terrorists. But the beautiful message of love, justice and peace that the blessed Prophet (Peace & Prayers Be Upon Him) preached, and which is to be found in the hearts of true Muslims.

Dear Friends,
 
For once, my writing here feels different to my own self.
 
I write not out of a feeling of wanting to express, but from a feeling of wanting to share.
 
-x-x-x-
 
I attended the three-days workshop.
 
We were trained in a Somatic Healing technique to provide immediate relief to people suffering from symptoms of Trauma.
 
In moments of crisis, the human Nervous system, just like in animals, triggers the Flight or Fight response. The crisis could be as extreme as Assault, or just an altercation with your boss. This can lead to suppression of either of the responses - fight or flight.
 
When that happens, often the body is not allowed to drain itself of the high amounts of energy released to tackle with the situation. Animals have the capacity not to go into trauma even after numerous predator-prey chases. This is because they allow their inner body intelligence to heal their bodies and thus their minds.
 
The energy triggered in the Nervous system at the time of a crisis is quite high.
 
For example, a mom was reported to have lifted a car all by herself to save her kid crushed under it.
 
This energy is released in the body to deal with the problem at hand. However, in a society that frowns on expression of anger in anyway, we most of the time end up repressing our anger. This means also repressing the high levels of energy triggered in the body, leaving the body in a state of ‘high’.
 
This stops the free flow of energy in the body creating knots or blocks, as we call it.
 
A person, stuck in Taj for a long period of 72 hours during the terrorist attack may have wanted to flee, but was unable too. This leads to a kind of helpless situation, in which the body cannot drain away the excess amount of energy released to cope up with the panic so as to run away.
 
The sounds, smells that were present in the environment at the time of the Crisis could be registered in the mind of a victim, and these could unrealistically trigger a fight or flight response in his Nervous System every time he comes in contact with such sounds and smells.
 
This leads to the person’s body showing symptoms such as faster heartbeats, anxiety, helplessness etc. When the Nervous System is stimulated in case of “false alarms” like rumours, or maybe passing through the same area (e.g. the lobby of the Taj) again, the feelings of rage, fear or helplessness could be unnecessarily high. 
 
This then is Trauma.
 
The body can also go into a third kind of reaction i.e. Freeze, wherein there is an involuntary shut-down in the body. In such cases the person may not want to report to work.
 
People who have been through instances of Trauma-triggering events, complain of body symptoms, and may not know how to cope with them. In many cases they go to the doctor and take medication to relieve themselves of the symptoms.
 
Research shows that 80% of what people go to doctors for revolves around the Nervous system.
 
Emotional stress, like in the case of Trauma, is autonomic stress.
 
The Placebo effect of a visit to the doctor’s can help, but the drawback is that most of the time; the treatment does not deal with feelings.
 
We all know that since the time of Freud, the body has been an abandoned baby.
 
Somatic-healing promises relief here, as the technique taught in Trauma Aid workshop held by Suraag Lambrou, takes into account the symptoms in the body of the victim like heat, pain, tightness, constriction etc, and later helps in finding channels to help the body discharge the high levels of energy to get relief from these symptoms. The technique helps the body regulate itself by allowing our conscious minds to be with the tremors, warmth, tingling and other symptoms of discharge so that the body is able to naturally regulate itself. Self-touch and other “tools” are also incorporated to help the client.
 
By drawing the client’s attention to small areas of discharge in the body, as a means to allow the body to regulate itself, we empower the client to cope with Trauma, and also be prepared to handle any such crises in the future. 50% of the relief or healing can happen in the first session itself.
 
The person helping a client is also introduced to the phenomenon of “resonance”, so that the Facilitator as he helps the clients is able to track his own bodily responses in order to know what is happening in the client’s body.
 
This technique has been tried on Tsunami survivors, where parents of the affected have been taught how to help their child face the effects of Trauma. The success rate was 95%.
 
The technique is simple and can be learnt by anyone interested to help and also heal oneself.
 
Interacting with Psychologists, alternative-healers, teachers, I found out how people in the present Indian society in its transition from the joint-family to the nuclear-family model and the increasing consumerism, combined with ills threatening it like terrorism is increasingly visiting doctors to find help.
 
At a time when Psychiatrists are “prescription-happy”, and there are only 20,000 mental health professionals to deal with 10 billion population, it is high time that we empower the common man with the greatest healing that lies within his body himself - the body’s inbuilt mechanism to heal itself (which unfortunately is often repressed, in the modern day).
 
Teaching this technique is one such way to equip ourselves better to face any natural or manmade disasters of the future.
 
To attend a similar workshop being held in February 2009, please contact Suraag Lambrou at suraagl@gmail.com <mailto:suraagl@gmail.com> to register your names. The workshops are free of cost. You can also reach him on 9870472228
 
We welcome you to help us spread this technique to as many people as possible. Suraag’s vision is to build a team of volunteers to help in the field of Trauma-relief in face of natural and manmade calamities.
 
Your time can be useful to the Nation.
 
Love
Suresh
 

Aren’t we too attached to certain things? So attached that if it/they
are taken away from us, we can collapse.

Life keeps testing us, or perhaps we see it that way with the constant
flux of change that hit us every now and then and challenge our dearly-
held notions of who we are, how strong we are, or if we have really
“arrived” or not. There are times when we suffer when things don’t
happen the way we would like to see them happen.

There is a certain realization within me now, that till the time we
can let things be, accept change and be strong enough, as not to
collapse when they are taken away from us we will continue to suffer.
Till the time we can accept the world as it is without suffering for
what it is not, and in the same time do our bit to “save the world”,
there would be inner peace.

This attachment could be not only to material things but also the way
we view the world. There are times when our very notion of certain
things can be challenged, and that could be very unnerving. Can we be
free enough, aware enough, to see through our patterns and let change
have its due course? If not, then suffering is our ultimate destiny.

In all this, I do accept that we are still human beings, not angels.
And change can be very bitter. Yes it is.

Yet, if we can exercise our awareness to see through our inner eye,
that vision which we all have clouded under all the layers of
conditioning and fear, if we can really see the long-term future, we
can be flexible, versatile enough to accept changes as and when they
happen.

In this endevour to accept change, one has to look around and
recognize the constant flux of change that Nature truly is. Each part
of Nature is either growing or decaying. Even the mighty hills and
rocks; nothing in nature is permanent.

The sun will perish and so will the earth and the moon. Sooner still,
we will perish, and the fair of human-beings we call as cities and
nations, civilizations and traditions.

Our dear-ones will depart, they too shall perish. Nothing is constant.
So what is the point in attaching oneself so much to someone,
something or some idea? What is the point in being possessive? Nothing
and no-one can be possessed. Not even life itself.

Everything will perish. Everything is impermanent. If we accept this
and surrender, there could be peace.

Perhaps there will be suffering still, but at least we will have the
strength to bear it.

Can we be graceful like the blade of grass to bow down to the winds
and not resist it, so that we are not broken? The grass continues to
be green and contributes to the green landscape, without much worrying
if the world is happy or sad. Because it realises that it is it’s duty
to be green as long as Time wants it to be, and then turns yellow
without worrying if the neighbouring grass is mowed down. Some may
call it a weakness, though it takes a lot of strngth, a kind of
resilience, to accept that that is all that the blade of grass can do
as of now. It is pure Wisdom.

What can being sad and negative, worrying - give us? It is only our
feeble Egos that wants to take upon itself the impossible task of
changing what is beyond our call of duty.

And to find out our call of duty, one needs to be still enough and
open to learning more about oneself through observation and patience.

Sadho Ye Murdon Ka Gaon
Peer Mare, Pygambar Mari Hain
Mari Hain Zinda Jogi 
Raja Mari Hain, Parja Mari Hain
Mari Hain Baid Aur Rogi 
Chanda Mari Hain, Suraj Mari Hain
Mari Hain Dharni Akasa 
Chaudan Bhuvan Ke Chaudhry Mari Hain
In Hun Ki Ka Asa 
Nauhun Mari Hain, Dus Hun Mari Hain
Mari Hain Sahaj Athasi 
Tethis Koti Devata Mari Hain
Badi Kaal Ki Bazi 
Naam Anam Anant Rehat Hai
Duja Tatva Na Hoi 
Kahe Kabir Suno Bhai Sadho
Bhatak Maro Mat Koi 

Translation
Oh Sadhu This is the Village of the Dead

The Saints Have Died, The God-Messengers Die
The Life-Filled Yogis Die Too | 
The Kings Die, The Subjects Die
The Healers and the Sick Die Too ||

The Moon Dies, The Sun Dies
The Earth and Sky Die Too |
Even the Caretakers of the Fourteen Worlds Die
Why Hope For Any of These ||

The Nine Die, The Ten Die
The Eighty Eight Die Easily Too |
The Thirty Three Crore Devatas (Enlightened Beings) Die 
It’s a Big Game of Time ||

The Un-Named Naam Lives Without Any End
There is No Other Truth ||
Says Kabir Listen Oh Sadhu
Don’t Get Lost and Die

(Dohas of Saint Kabeer taken from http://www.boloji.com/kabir/mysticsongs/km9.htm)

Where do I start expressing myself, today? Shall I start with how I feel right now? Yes, that would be the best start.

I am feeling overwhelmed. A feeling of sorrow, rises within my heart. It remains, even as I look into it.

And a sense of gratitude, love, humbleness…

Today, I got an Intimation from Bihar School of Yoga about I being shortlisted for the 4months course in Yoga studies. I am expected to be in Bihar on the 24^th of January, 2009. And the course begins on the 27^th.

I also happened to read BasicIndia’s invitation to the 3days workshop to build a platform for individuals to bring about a concrete positive change outside, by way of turning inwards… Co-incidentally the BasicIndia workshop starts on the 24^th.

-x-x-x-

I have two options in front of me right now.

First, the Bihar School of Yoga, for a long-time work on my inner-self to dedicate myself to the Cause

Second, continue as present, and take up the Cause.

Will I be able to help surely in my own way now? Won’t I be better equipped to help after the Yoga Course?

The decision has not been taken yet. Any suggestions?