goldenboy

Winter has finally arrived in the country. This year the wait for winter was longer than usual (blame Climate change!)

7 vehicles collided against each other due to poor visibility somewhere in Northern India.

And even as the fog becomes thicker everywhere else, it’s only now that the fog is wearing away from my life. The dull white barren snow is finally seeing some sunlight penetrating in. And as the ice melts, the landscape is in turmoil yet again. Herald the change of seasons!

And it is all upto me now how to deal with this yet another change in my emotional-mental make up.

After jumping head-on into Yoga, and searching for a resonance to the whispers of my heart in the Yoga-Philosophy for a year, I stand at the brink of yet another failed experiment. I could not proceed beyond the 4th limb of Ashtanga Yoga into Pratyahara (withdrawal of Senses) that deals with the renunciation of the Material world.

And I find myself having to face the ruins of a 12-year old long fight with Depression. My boss at my new workplace has been a catalyst in removing the dirt from my lenses so that I can see now for myself how I lust for success, fame and money deep within!

I am no Yogi. I am no Fakir. I am just another worldly man with the usual storms of desires and earthly needs that beseech the human heart. To turn my face away from these would mean taking away my sight from the person that I truly am. I am as human as anyone else; and now know for sure that in humanity and not in godliness lies my redemption.

Today GB stands amongst the ravages of his life, trying to salvage what truly belongs to him: a faith in a Higher Reality, a re-enforced faith in the truth of the deepest urges and needs of his body, a greater connection with earth; and a very ordinary yet earnest desire to earn money, fame & recognition. Denying these would be fallacy, chasing any other philosophy other than this – a mortal sin!