Whatever one’s inner voice says is true, is one’s own Dharma, (the ordained duty), says the Grand sire of the clan of Pandavas in the Mahabharatha, the Epic Hindu book.
What is my duty, an unemployed 32 year old youth fighting depression and demons of his own mind, trying to arrange a living for his family by all fair means – borrow, work as much as health permits? Is there an ordained action apart from the survival chores that every human has to make truce with?
The Bhagavad Gita says that even when one is inactive, he is performing acts which will have it’s repercussions.
So inaction is forbidden to humankind. Whatever moments he lives on this planet, he is constantly contributing to the wheel of action that spurns out fruits, results, repercussions.
Just being is not enough. Even as I believe that I have forsaken from an active life, there are still thoughts, prayers, desires – enough vibrations of my mind those are released as mental energy into the Samsara (world). These too, in very powerful ways, affect the course of world events at large.
Thus when Quran-e-Pak says that when I kill one person, I kill the entire humanity, is not an exaggeration.
Osho, the contemporary philosopher, says that I may not be performing acts of hate or violence, but by merely having thoughts of hate, I am injecting the atmosphere of the world with hate which a person with poor defenses will pick up and perhaps kill somebody.
So I am responsible for all that happens in Israel, Pakistan, Iraq and Somalia, just the same. We are all partakers in the ‘Original Sin’, we are all sinners, as Christianity says.
However in the Geeta, Arjuna the immortal is guided by the Lord, to perform actions as per his inner voice. “Perform actions that you believe is right, and offer it to me”, the Lord says.
All this compassion that I feel for babies torn away from the breasts of their moms in cruel wars in far-away lands, the hope for even the hardened terrorists to be forgiven so that he would receive God’s eternal mercy and grace – a new path (as per the qualities of the God in Quran, and the duty of forgiveness as per the Bible), prayers for friends, students and family – these are actions too.
Yes, there is one negative action I still indulge in. I look at the world and say, “All is not right, so much of ugliness, so much of cruelty, so much of cut-throat competition, wars & pestilence!” Even this is an action. By perceiving the world in a negative shade, by not being able to embrace both sides of the coin, by being affected by all the negativity around, I am performing an action, contaminating the world atmosphere with negativity, personal hopelessness! And who knows there might be some vulnerable student (I am a teacher) who holds me in high esteem, and he might be affected by my hopelessness, my negative energy, and he will take up arms and become a terrorist! (a Moslem or a Hindu terrorist, or a state-sponsored terrorist in the garbs of an enthusiastic CRPF jawan in Kashmir violating human-rights!)
By embracing hate, even as I celebrate love, by allowing slander even as I keep a prayer on my lips, by accepting the world with all its shortcomings, only then will I be free of “duality”, the original guilt. That, I see, would be the beginning of being detached, not taking everything personally, even as I take responsibility for the whole and perform my reconciliatory actions by writing or praying. By forgiving people who act against me or my expectations. That’s how I will contribute to Peace on Earth.
Who am I?
I brought nothing when I was born
Will take nothing when I’ll be gone
Whatever happens in the Interval of Life
Is just a carnival, to be celebrated,
To find hope where there is none,
To find love where there is hate,
And hating none, for his deed or thought
Is the way to Redemption.
May Peace Reign,
(Written in the Light of my Master)
Golden BoyRead More
He is there in the slime with you
In the dirt, knee-deep
Just where you are struck
He smiles benevolently at you
And reaches out to you
As you surrender totally
He has been to the deepest nadir
So however low you fall, you have hope
I gave up all gurus when I knew
This true quality of a guru…
In the dark night you lost your way
And kept calling out, Krsna, krsna
In the long arms of trees, and tired creepers
In the carnival of night-life of ghouls
You called out to Him Krsna Krsna
You wondered if it was out of love or fear now
That your tongue sought refuge in Him
You left the comfort of your home
To seek in the night your beloved
The Darksome lad who waved at you
From the window outside
And now hides from you without a trace
In this dark wilderness (how cruel of him!)
O Radhe, why had you to leave your house
Looking for the mischievous one?
And from the streets when the town has left
Deserted the land when darkness leapt
You still held your fort, eyes wide open
The noise of cricket in your ears!
No Ahilya, you shalt not find
The prince of dark hue, sweet, yet
There are ages more for the Lord to be born
Rest, if you can, the night is lorn
And when strangers – ghosts or men
Shall dwell on you, steadfast remain
The name of Ram is the refuge for you
A lady well-bred, cursed, out all-alone!
This world is in need of Poems
Too many math and science
Philosophy, the men have seen
And crores of stories, read!
No, we need poetry now
To soothe ruffled feathers
Calm the hostile winds
And win more hearts back to life…
Where science leaves man
And math fail
At the gates of God’s abode
Only a poem can find its way home!
Clouds heap upon clouds and it darkens. Ah, love, why dost thou let me wait outside at the door all alone?
In the busy moments of the noontide work I am with the crowd, but on this dark lonely day it is only for thee that I hope.
If thou showest me not thy face, if thou leavest me wholly aside, I know not how I am to pass these long, rainy hours.
I keep gazing on the far-away gloom of the sky, and my heart wanders wailing with the restless wind.
(From Rabindranath Tagore’s Gitanjali Poem XVIII)
They will Carry me
To the Abode of Shiva
And set my pyre to light;
Carry my ashes
To the Sacred River.
And the ashes will run
To the confluence
Where the River meets the Sea
Goddess Yemanja, sweet mother
Of the High Oceans and the Seas.
Finally Mother, I would have
In all the bitterness of our separation, and my own inability to come terms with the reality that you had moved on and that you had found another guy, the image of the loving R was lost. All I could see was my own anger, unhappiness and betrayal.
Yes, we could be Friends. Yes. Why not?
I keep asking myself, did I deserve all this? I don’t blame you now, I just keep asking God: Did I deserve all the pain of the last 8years???? Why had I to love someone so much that I just couldn’t let him go, why did I have to love someone so much that I couldn’t just live without him???
That was why I called myself an Emotional fool. For you, the life didn’t stop. You went on with your work. You had a new partner. Why couldn’t I too move on? Why did I get stuck?
Anyways, the past is past.
This time I will add Love at the end of the email. Because even if I am too bitter inside because of all the pain that I got in our relationship, I still cannot deny the fact that I still love you, can I? Such an emotional fool, am I !
And yes, no reconciliations! There can be no reconciliations! How can there be? When I lost so much? How can there be any mending now? How can I get back all those years of my life spent in misery ? How? How R? How?
Not possible, right!
Anyways, that is my destiny. I wish you all the Love and care in the world. May you forever be happy and receive love. And most importantly may you fall in true love, someday!
I decided to do away
With my wings
To let go of all controls
To fall endlessly
To the bottom of the pit of the Earth
The Ocean Floor; Carefree.
In a country were Kashmir is burning, and we call their freedom fighters as Terrorists!!!
In a country where the Post-Godhra Riots took place and men, women and children of the minority community massacred?
In a country where a Political Party chooses to raze down a Mosque to the ground, to come to power?
In a country where your religion is asked first before you are granted accommodation in a building society or even in an office?
Weren’t these the stuff of Poison (which exists but we hush-hush about, even the media) which this young man was indoctrinated with along with the promise of paradise if he killed people in such a cruel country?
We all have ideologies! He has one! He is just 21 (a young adult)! He was a kid 4 years ago! Can’t we give him a chance to reform, to know the true meaning of Islam, and the fact that no matter the Gujarat riots how Hindus and Moslem in this country still ironically, live and work together and this nation remains a Secular state.
Or are we going to kill him and have a party? Or are we going to give up the responsibility of becoming an adult country ourself first, and leading the fight against terrorism in a more mature fashion?
Does a fight against terrorism always have to mean an eye for an eye? Or can we engage in a meaningful dialogue and reflect on our own wrong actions which could have contributed to somebody’s taking up arms and ammunition against us?
I am not talking about Pakistan- the State or country here. I am talking about Individuals like Ajmal Kasab.
Think about itRead More
A spirit bitten by the wanderbug
Is taking hold of me now
Again, there’s no place to run
Because when it wants you
All you do is let it take you
To places, and it won’t let you settle
Exorcists and Saints, Devil and his guardians
Everyone tried to get me rid of it
But in vain
I am in possession, by the Wanderlust spirit
Claws dug in deep
It hurts me, wants me to keep its pace
As it drags me
Sucks at my energy
And blows like a crazy wind in daze…
I am in possession, by the Wanderlust spirit
It has been some time since I wrote! For a moment before I started writing here, I wondered if I would ever be able to write again!
It has been a long time since I got some leisure, to sit down in peace and write. Life kicked me around, and I swayed and flowed with the tide, sometimes resisting it, sometimes surrendering totally.
But I have been reading some excellent pieces of writing at other people’s blog – especially basicindia.net and maayajaal.blogspot.com
And I ask myself if I will ever be able to catch hold of that magic again? That charisma that once oozed out of my writing, which left people in awe?
And in this far-fetched town of Nalla Sopara (the farthest end of the Metropolis of Mumbai), where I sit in a cyber café, it is strange that I somehow do not bother about it.
Life, I have discovered, is not about words. It is definitely not about what we think of it, or how angry or how compassionate we are etc.
Infact, it does not matter at all. What if one fine day we were to realize that whether we worry or not, whether we care or not, there would be no change after all. Life will go on as it is. People will not change. Generations won’t change. Why! Even we ourselves cannot change!
And even if the mind will ask for a rational explanation, there seems to be no explanation! None!
Our lives are just miniscule specs in the eternal saga of time. And our egos explode for the world, rant at times or chant in silent prayer!
But all there is that matters in all this; is a single truth: NOW. Live it to the full and be present in the Now. Live it, like it, believe in it. There is no other thing that needs to be undone, no mysteries to be solved, nothing more to be learnt, nothing to be changed, no one to be befriended or wooed!
Pain will come, or joys… accept it. Surrender. And if you wish to be elegant, accept another word: Silence.